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Another Way | Article: A Dinosaur in an Age of Electronics
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A dress is just a dress and shoes are just shoes. What you wear is your own choice and I hope you keep wearing just what you like and are comfortable with. Perhaps Kingsolver's exchange with Lily could have become a "teachable moment" for Lily, a chance to point out to her how unimportant trends and fashion are compared to things that are lasting. Thanks for your column.

Evvie
Cambridge, MA USA
6/25/2009 10:54:00 AM
Another Way | The Stray Cat and Euthanasia
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I just love the way you like to stir up memories for your readers. You should win an award for doing so on such a regular basis. That’s why you do what you do, I’m sure.
As a continuing care retirement community we deal with the situations you describe on a daily basis. It’s amazing to see how differently families conduct themselves as the life of a loved one slowly creeps from them. Even more interesting is the way our caregivers dote over the residents as their lives on this earth draw to a close. Some have no family to visit them and we become their surrogate families. That makes the end a lot easier for the residents, but it is never easy for the caregivers, no matter how long they have been working here.

Recently a very good friend of mine was admitted to the Alzheimer’s unit. She and her husband had enjoyed over 60 years together, and he had lovingly cared for her each day as her health was failing. I was amazed at the love shown in their household. I had the awesome privilege of sharing a meal with them on numerous occasions and it was always a blessing to me to just sit and watch them, together.

When the wife was moved into the dementia care unit, the husband and their one son knew the end was not too far off and they all agreed that no life support would be used to extend the inevitable. The husband and son visited her every day until about a week before she died. I visited her every day, and she always seemed to recognize me when I came into the room and spoke with her. Eight days before she passed away, she proclaimed, “John, I’ve decided what I’m going to do.” I inquired about her plan and she calmly explained, “I’m going to stop eating and drinking. I’m ready to go home.” I told her that her husband and son were okay with that decision (we’d talked about it on more than one occasion) and I was glad for her. And that’s exactly what she did. I visited her each morning and evening and would talk with her and pray with her and she would respond, sometimes with a mumbled word, other times with a squeeze of my hand, or simply a barely noticeable smile.

The morning she died, I stopped in to see her and she was very near death. I sat down with her and held her hand and prayed that the Lord would wrap His loving arms around her and make it a peaceful passing into His presence. She took a couple of deep breaths about 35 seconds apart, and was gone. It was truly peaceful, and I was again blessed to be around her for the last time here on earth.

She was ready to go, and her family was ready to let her go, in God’s timing. That’s the way it should be.

John

John Kollaer

6/10/2009 10:30:00 AM
Another Way | Rhoda's Pain: Thank you!
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Rhoda,
I know that this is late but
I can only think about the pain you have endured ,and I think Eric's response not only sums up my feelings ,but is in essence what Jesus would have said.I believe that your Uncle needs to repent of his sin,and his family need to repent of their sin of omission in not supporting or believing you.You need to know that even if your biological family does not support you that two brothers in your spiritual family on the other side of the pacific do.
Eric if you are reading this ,i wonder if you could email me to the email attached to my name.
Rhoda remem


Mitcham, Victoria Australia
6/8/2009 10:31:00 PM
Another Way | non - resistance
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Hi
I noticed in my last post that I used the words,'...very ready to protect myself...', this should not be interpreted to mean protection as in 'force', as I do believe that, '..God's people follow Christ in the way of love, peace, and non -resistance in relating to all people....' (Conservative Mennonite Conference: Statement of Theology, - The Kingdom). My intention was meant to mean that I will defend my point of view (while being prepared to listen to correction).

Eric

3/24/2009 7:21:00 AM
Another Way | Article: Difficult Christmas Memories
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I would like to remember that not all of the Christmas story is "Happy." parents lost their children in a Holocaust. they were killed right in front of their parent's eyes. many people feel pain during Christmas, just from the emptiness they sense dud to a loss from either death or divorce. to have someone tell them they need to be happy is cruel. one needs to keep in perspective, that the Christan is to be spreading good news. that is not to say that eventually these folks can't heal and be happy, however, it IS a process and not a waving of a magic wand. Some people will go to their grave with out the healing touch of God through Christ. how can these folks open up, if they are expected to be happy. often it is when they begin to grieve loss of a close family member, that the grief they held in for so long will start tumbling out, uncontrollably. when they need others the most is often when they will find estrangement. yet, is this not the work of the church, to set the captive free?
how do we go about doing this? listening is a large, and most important part of ministry to people with large wounds, like these. I am not talking about frivelous wounds. for most of us, our wounding may be like a scratch. it heals quickly with little medical attention. the deeperwounds however need to heal form the inside out. if the healing occurs on the outside, the inside can become an infectious cyst, needing surgery to heal properly. yet if care is taken in the very beginning, deep scaring can be avoided.
When ever meeting someone with deep wounds, it is important that you do not try to give quick fixes. these just cause the wound to be suverged even deeper. Jesus said that some will need prayer and fasting, meaning for me that it is going to take some time to bring restoration. we are not the great healer. Christ is. Listening to another in deep pain, is likely to make us feel uncomfortable. it may bring up areas in our own lives that need addressing. we do not like pain. we have a tendancy to avoid pain. yet, if given the chance to allow the painfull event to surface, and allow the person to grieve over, healing can occur. is this not the work of the church? it is more than having a good time. it is taking the good news, God Loves you, to those who are hurting, and hurting deeply.--

Name withheld

3/5/2009 2:27:00 PM
Another Way | Stress tips: Comment
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I don't have a stress tip, but I have a comment. I enjoy the stress tips a lot and find them insightful and useful.However today's tip, Tough Out the Stress of Big Transitions, 2-9-09 is obviously written for young or middle-aged people, not for old ones. What was said can still be true in some instances. But mostly big transitions for older people, especially those nearing the end of life, are not temporary, there may not be any future exciting things to look forward to, and the bumps may never even out--they may get worse.Just thought I'd mention that perspectives change as we age.
Thanks for listening.
Marie

Marie

2/12/2009 8:23:00 AM
Another Way | child care
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I really needed this encouragement from a mother with older children. Our children are 2 and 3 years old now, two wonderful girls, but for me the most stressful about having children is organizing the care while we are working. We already decided that we did not want to work fulltime both, so my husband works 3 days a week, and I work 4 days. Because we have varying working hours we usually need childcare for two afternoons. My mother volunteered to take care of them for 1 afternoon, and the other day they stay with friends of ours. It is all working out fine, but I would love to spend more time with the girls than I can now. I realise that there are so many families that are far worse off than we are. I wish them all God's strength and wisdom to cope with these everyday problems. Knowing that my children are in God's hand and that He will watch over them even when I'm not around helps me to find peace of mind about this matter.
God bless you all,
Harriet


Nieuwe Pekela, Netherlands
2/9/2009 3:38:00 PM
Another Way | Article: Quirky Questions of Faith
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Hi

In Australia where Mennonites are not that well known, I came across a funny situation (in retrospect) early last year.
I went to a informal meeting at a 'Believer's church' where people were encouraged to share stories of their Christian faith. Well, at that time being a recent convert to anabaptism and being baptised into a Mennonite congregation. I shared my faith story with the group and received the following sarcastic reply, 'what are you - a Jehovah's witness? Why are you Witnesses building so many Mormon Temples?! You Mormons won't fight for your country either! All I could do is shake my head and then explain what Mennonites generally believe in the way of non-resistance/pacifism/peacemaking. To which two members of the group STRONGLY shared how they had served in the Australian Army and were proud of it. The next day at the church service the minister, to whom I had given a copy of the our Mennonite Confession of Faith - as he shown an interest, showed a brief clip of a war film to demonstrate how one might lay down their life for a friend as an example how one might love their nieghbour. I never have gone back there.


Logan, Qld Australia
12/5/2008 8:40:00 PM
Another Way | I'ts soon to be rebuilt historicle effort
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I agree with Wayne, we who call ourselves Christian, should already be living the teachings of Christ Jesus regardless of what is happening in the world.


Logan, Qld Australia
11/23/2008 4:38:00 PM
Another Way | They Survived My Working: Participate in research - invitation
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Hi Melodie,

A friend of mine who is on your e-mail list forwarded me your story on having been a working mother in the past as she thought you might have an interest in the project I have just started researching the attitudes of working mothers. I have just launched a nationwide survey and would greatly appreciate it if you would send it out to your group. The description and survey link are below. Please let me know if this is something you would be interested in doing and feel free to get back to me with any questions you might have.
Thanks so much! Karen

The Working Mothers Project is a small group interested in enhancing the lives of working mothers and their families by uncovering, acknowledging and discussing the hidden issues and dynamics that block achievement of fulfillment and happiness in family relationships. We are currently conducting a nationwide survey on the attitudes of working mothers and would greatly appreciate any working mothers participating in this survey. For those of you who are not mothers, who are not working, or who are men, it would be appreciated if you could forward this to all the working mothers you know. To participate in the survey please click on the link below:
http://www.zoomerang.com/Survey/?p=WEB228FTGRDPZL
If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to contact us at theworkingmothersproject@gmail.com or post a comment on our blog at http://twmp.wordpress.com
Survey participants will be entered into a drawing for some great prizes!

Karen

11/12/2008 9:40:00 AM
Another Way | Article: Cats
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I just wanted to throw out there that on a recent trip to Istanbul, Turkey, my husband and I saw a multitude of stray cats everywhere we turned. Amazingly, the cats were friendly! It seems that Turkish people like to set food dishes out for the strays, and pet them...even vaccinating them (especially the dogs). If only they would take so much care to spay and neuter the strays, but at least they do what they can to leave animals with a favorable view of humankind.



10/24/2008 10:45:00 AM
Another Way | obama and Christ
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Weber stated, 'The political is no realm for saints'. One cannot 'turn the other cheek' if one has already decided that they will use force (weapons) as needed.


Logan, Qld Australia
10/22/2008 10:03:00 PM
Another Way | obama and Christ
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Hi Wayne,
You are missing the point of my anabaptist arguement. Wilberforce, Shaftebury, and Quakers were not anabaptist. I am discussing the political paradigm of mine as a Mennonite. I hold separation of church and state as part of my beliefs. As an anabaptist I see that my role as an ADVOCATE for the way of peace and justice for those affected by greed, violence, and oppression. My role is as one who shares in the suffering of others. I do not wait for a political leader of my choice to come along to do my Christian duty for me, or to speak for me, or to help me 'Christianize the world' or to force Christian values onto others. (Which is why an ongoing peaceful observance of the Great Commission is so important) (forcing Christian values onto society is an arrogant Church -State, solution,which is what Constantine did, wheras evangelism through lived example and witness, is more appropriate)If a politician is a Christian then the way he/she lives her life speaks more than their words ever can. The role of the secular politician who is a Christian is not to Christianize the world. I will not compromise my beliefs in order to prostitute myself and destroy my covenant relation with God by supporting a political party in order win the favour of power politics which may give me some advantage in any given secular political situation.
In the believers Church Bible Commentry (Herald Press) Millard Lind's commentary on Ezekiel puts it this way,'Authority is found exclusively in the person of God, who reveals the divine self in these primal acts for Israel. Ezekiel's position on 'separation of church and state' shines through in his use of the covenate paradigm for his understanding of history. It also shows in his critique of Israel's worship of power gods (I read this as political parties - Eric) and its whoredom with the military empires of Egypt, Assyria, and Babylon - all these prophets (Jeremiah, Isaiah, and Hosea), proclaimed the structure of God and people, rather than Near Eastern power structures'(page 137 & 138)
Aligning ourselves to political parties and voting for them, in my view, means that we ineventually allign ourselves also to the political power structures of other countries (eg, Australia's alliance with the USA).This was the practise and situation of the people of Jerusalem prior to their downfall due to the alliances they had with Egypt and others nations. Do not be surprised that when the USA 'empire' collapses (as is the nature of empires) that Australia will experience the same destruction as that befelled Judah. As John Howard Yoder quoted Berkof, ''The believer strives not against tangible persons and objects (flesh and blood), but against the powers they obey.....The arms named (truth, righteous, the readiness of the Gospel of peace, faith, salvation, and the Word of God) show that Paul is not comtemplating an offensive against the powers.....Our duty is not to bring the powers to their knees..(God)He has taken care of this...Ours it is to hold the Powers, their seduction, and their enslavment, AT A DISTANCE'. (as quoted by John Howard Yoder in 'The Politcs of Jesus, 1994 edition page 149.
I will not vote for those who would authorize the use of force while presenting themselves as Christan.
When I was a peri-operative nurse I used to delegate responsibility to others on the basis of their knowledge, competence, and their ability to communicate, not on how they charmed me, nor that they agreed with me all the time, nor on their popularity or what they promised to do for me. I treat politicians the same way.

Bontrager
Logan, Qld Australia
10/22/2008 8:57:00 AM
Another Way | obama and Christ
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Hi Wayne,

The question was to you not John Howard. Again I ask you, how would YOU separate church from State. As far as I am concerned, ANYBODY who is running for a SECULAR position in government should not bring his religious viewpoint into his or her their campaign. Barack Obama, and John McCain are there to represent Americans, not Jesus Christ. Expecting Obama to talk about Christ as part of his election campaign would be offensive to American Muslims, and American people of other religions. Would you like a Muslim politician to preach from his or her scriptures, or a Mormon from his or her scriptures? When a politician starts preaching his or her religion along with their political view point I simply ignore them. It is not a case of what religion a politician is, it is about the quality of the person who is running for office. As John Howard Yoder pointed out, 'A given government IS NOT mandated or saved or made a channel of the will of God - the government 'is simply lined up, used by God in his ordering of the cosmos'.(Politics of Jesus 1972).
As for the coalition of the willing, it is not, rather it is the coaltion of the unwilling to work for peace by dialoque.They prefer to use those bombers that you mentioned. As Dick Benner wrote in the Mennonite Weekly Review,'Mennonites historically insisted on a different kind of politics than that to which we are being lured' Politcking from the pulpit).
If Christians want to vote - fine,as long as they are willing to accept responsibility for their choices. Secular politics is eventually one of compromise in order to keep in office, where as the politics of Jesus is one of no compromise.

Bontrager
Logan, Qld Australia
10/22/2008 4:11:00 AM
Another Way | Article: Race and Class at I-HOP
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I honestly feel the racial issue is somewhat media driven in many respects. I have seen that same scene lived out all over the US-from small towns to big towns. Is racial discrimination still there- absolutely yes and yes again. But for the vast majority-we all live in a ver ydiverse world and enjoy every minute of it.

trisha
Phoenix, AZ
9/29/2008 1:47:00 PM
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